The Swan
Conham Hill
Hanham
Bristol
BS15 3AP
0117 967 3947
 
news

Any old or new pics that you might have would be more than welcome
Send them by email - attach your picture(s) to the email using the paperclip symbol 

Or hand them behind the bar with basic details eg. date, occasion, and we will do the rest!

please send contributions to news@theswanhanham.co.uk

Jan 10
The new Swan News section starts this year , and is now based upon  the latest “Blog” software type format.
As The Swan web site is open to the world,  we have to be careful who is allowed access; but if anyone would like to make posts, please email us at news@theswanhanham.co.uk
Please feel free to make comments on any items posted just by clicking the link at the bottom right of each post.

Dec 09

Personality of the Year 2009
Congratulations to Barry, who was named "Personality of the Year 2009" on Sunday 27th December.

Barry has generally helped the bar staff out in the Swan for the last few years, and has been very popular not only with the regulars, but with first time visitors, due to his cheery nature and helpful attitude.
Well done Barry!!


Dec 09

Charity Day
Over 100 golfers braved the cold frosty weather and made their way to Cumberwell Golf Club for a charity day on behalf of Bristol Childrens Hospital. The organisers - Spenny, Dewy and Fordy - lead from the front taking the first tee time at some ungodly hour. Spenny immediately sought to relax his playing partners by topping his ball off the first tee and not reaching the ladies tee. So in time honoured tradition, the "cacks" had to come down.
The golf was followed by an evening back at the Swan, where there was an auction of sporting memorabilia and a raffle. The day raised  a remarkable £12,000 for charity and many thanks to all the individuals and businesses who donated prizes for the event.

Special thanks to Spenny, Dewy and Fordy for all their efforts in organising the whole event.


Dec 09 Shep!
Besides being well known as (probably) the best looking goalkeeper in the West Country, this regular of the Swan obviously has other talents.
Celebrating his umpteenth birthday, the day started with a round of golf followed by a few beers, followed by a few more beers, followed by even more beers, culminating in a visit to the Chilli Inn on the High Street. There, he was greeted as a long lost friend by a young lady who positively identified him as - Rob Shepherd - the well known fisherman - star of stage, screen and river bank. Mine host - Gerry - bears witness to the events, which is just as well as our man Shep most probably can't remember a thing!!
We managed to capture our man enjoying his hobby down on the Avon recently (see right)

Nov 09 Lessons required
A certain person in the Swan requires lessons in the art of rolling their own cigarettes following an incident at Bristol Airport. Loaded down with enough Rizla to supply the whole of Hanham, the person was challenged as to whether it was for their own personal use. The acid test was to demonstrate the art of rolling to the Customs Officer. Not wishing to accept the challenge, out intrepid traveller left the whole lot  at the airport. Any experts in the noble craft please leave your details behind the bar!

Sep 09 Farewell to Chris & Kate
Best Wishes to Chris and Kate who are off to start a new life in Saudi Arabia.
Chris had a farewell do at the Swan on the 25th and flew out to the following day. Kate is due to follow in a few weeks time. Gerry organised a Karaoke for the evening and a good night was had by all the family and friends in attendance.
More pictures can be see in the gallery section.

Sep 09 The Stage is set
It's been 9 years in the planning & development stages, and it has finally arrived.
The new Swan stage (and spotlights) was used for the first time on Saturday 26 Sep 2009 and was much appreciated by the evening's entertainer Guy Johnson. Work is underway below for new dressing rooms, so that the entertainer/stage can be raised slowly into position with all the accompanying flashing lights and fanfare intro. 

Apr 09 Trev's pics from the USA
Received an email from Paul Robinson, our football man in Dallas - Texas.
Trevor and Valerie Hudson are visiting Paul and Shelley and having a  great time with their granddaughters. Trev also spent a day Carp fishing with Paul.
Lunchtimes in the Swan will return to the normal population count upon his return!

Feb 09 Paul's pics from the USA
Andy Rowe went out to see Paul Robinson for a few weeks over the pond.
Paul is currently coaching DFW Tornados Soccer Club in Dallas, but they managed to squeeze in a few days fishing. What's the story behind the drink cigar - Rowey??

Dec 08 Tug of War competition - Boxing Day - Controversy No. 1
Two teams from the Swan and a team from the Star, braved arctic conditions on Boxing Day, to stage the first annual tug of war competition on Vicarage Road playing fields. Real men in prime condition (see right), battled it out for the honour of lifting the glittering trophy donated by Gerry.
Armed with the rules, the competition referees - Gerry and Barry - made sure that all was in order. Suitable
lines at the correct distance were marked out by Puffer, and Rob Pym supplied the massive rope.
Each team pulled against each other in a mini league, and life threatening effort was put in by all teams (see left).
It seemed clear that Ron Harris's (Fox Hat) team were clear winners on the day, but senior referee on the day - Barry - to the utter disbelief of the watching crowd - awarded a tie result with the somewhat underweight but young and enthusiastic team from the Star.
Concern was expressed, as Barry was seen talking on his mobile phone before making the decision.
Some mention was made of Chinese gambling syndicates - Barry flatly denies any involvement and says he will prove his innocence on his return from his month away in Barbados
For pics click here

Dec 08 Look-alike competition
Thanks to Carolyn for spotting this likeness between perma-tanned Des O'Connor and our very own cheeky grinned Barry.
  Back to the theme of Swan regulars dressing up in unusual clothes (see March 08), GI has sent this contribution (click to enlarge)  featuring Rob Wade trying to break into the film industry.
He's still working on the French accent.

Nov 08 Abbie gets the spotters badge
Fair play to Abbie who noticed that if  you checkout our gallery section, there seems to be an usually large number of identical black shirts being worn by Swan customers during recent months.
Maybe something to do with the recent opening of the Harvey Nicholls store in Bristol.

Nov 08 Congratulations to Kelly & Joe
On the arrival of baby Albie, born Wednesday 12 Nov 2008 at Southmead Hospital and weighing in at a whopping 9lb 3oz.
Albie was due to arrive somewhat earlier, so Joe was the only one who stayed tea total last Friday at the Swan Golf Day at Bath Golf Club. His mobile switched on, mind racing, engine running - waiting for the call.
Pic to come
Best wishes to Kelly, Joe, brother Fred and Albie from all at the Swan.

Oct 08 Gerry 8 out of 8
What a remarkable set of crib results mine host - Gerry - has accumulated.
Playing for the Tuesday crib team he has won all 8 of his latest single matches. His fine run of form has brought itself to the attention of Crowbar's Thursday crib team, where he was spotted signing the necessary league forms to make him available. This will obviously put pressure on the present Thursday squad to keep up their performance levels. Steve Carter once again looks vulnerable despite topping the averages.
Modesty forbids Gerry to let on to the secrets of his success. Perhaps it is the cup of coffee he drinks, so as to keep his senses razor sharp, that unnerves his opponents - perhaps he has perfected the art of "flimping"  - anyway - Premiership Pubs are taking an interest.

Oct 08 Yellow lines
The Swan management at great expense (free beer - it would have worked out cheaper to call in the NCP boys), contracted the car parking lining job to Puffer.
Pictured left, with the machine and the project overseer "Cares", you will now find the Swan carp park now neatly divided into a number of parking bays. The lines are commendably straight, obviously "payment" was received after the job had been completed!
At quiet times you may notice that some of the bays are wider than others, this was not part of the original plan, it was simply the case that there was a danger of running out of paint.

Swan patrons are asked to park neatly and tidily so as to enhance the overall attractive appearance of the pub!

Sep 08 Scary week!
What a week for Mr. Richard Carey.
It started with a Saturday afternoon excursion to play golf with the lesser mortals at The Park, where he won the highest score and shared the team prize. On return to the Swan, he found that he had shared the first prize on the football pontoon with Knowlesly - Carlisle and Bristol Rovers scoring the accumulative 11 goals.
He then played in the Bath Ales corporate day at the Kendleshire during the week where he won first prize (38 points) and also nearest the pin prize!!
The first prize was a state of the art - Dyson be afraid - Russian(?) TASKI vacuum cleaner (as featured on Only Fools and Horses). It took the combined mechanical expertise of Puffer and R
owey to assemble this magnificent appliance, and was tested on the Swan deep shag pile carpet with seemingly no visible cleaning effect. Also part of the prize was a weekend break for two at a Marriott Hotel, completely free providing the reception area is TASKI'ed first thing on the morning.

Bath Ales also chucked in an umbrella and T-shirt for good measure.

Happy Days!!

Aug 08 Pigeon update
After staying for a week or so, Reg decided to take a break from all the pampering and go off on his summer(?) holidays. His first choice being somewhat unwise, he alighted on Weston Pier, or at least his feet nearly did. Suitably chastened (and scorched!), he went in search of less hazardous retreats and flew down to Burnham on Sea, where he is pictured on the beach (right), soaking up the rain. He did manage to send a postcard which is displayed by the bar. He requested that his perch be kept ready for his imminent return, unless he embarks on a holiday romance - in which case, it may need to be widened.

Aug 08 Pigeon becomes a resident
The Swan seems to have acquired a new resident in the form of a lost homing pigeon (see right). His new perch is in the alcove between the lounge and the patio area.
Having initially been chased off the premises by Gerry (this was an amusing spectacle - according to Joe) mine host succumbed to the lost and needy expression of the pigeon, and supplied it with sustenance.
Apparently lost homing pigeons, if returned to their owner, face a near certain death penalty, so in view of European Pigeon Rights legislation, our friend may be with us for some time.
There was a book running behind the bar on the betting for how long our guest would be staying, but with the smug and satisfied expression only pigeons can give (see left), all bets are off.  

Jun 08 Rachel and Martin's Wedding
Congratulations to Rachel and Martin who got married on Saturday 28th June.
The reception was held on the evening
at their new home - Stradbrook Cottage - with their family & friends including  many of the Swan regulars.
The weather being kind, the evening was very relaxed and informal with an alfresco BBQ. Warren Guest providing the music and entertainment.

We would like to put a link on the Swan website for more pics etc. - please send any pics or videos using the links above.

Jun 08


click here for pics

Moggy's Stag Do - Jolly Boys Day at the Races

Thanks to Mark Saunders for the report and pics

A good day was had by all at Moogs stag day at Bath races.  Starting at the Swan at around midday (some earlier) we all had a few pints and looked at the form of the horses - well we looked at the names and picked one.  Puffer was organising the £50 bets for the lucky three betters and Joe was preparing the coach refreshments.  Then we were off.  Arriving at the course we soon found the cider tent and got stuck in, and let Steve guest put the bets on, well no winners there then.  Pete Ferris, Alan Mizen and Jamie Knowles were the lucky people to place the £50 bets, Knowlesy had a second place, apart from that no winners (at least Pete had the bet at another meet and not at Bath). Well a few hours later and many pints we danced to a group (who the hell were they) in the field spilling booze as we punched the air.  Time to go and we were herded by the ground stewards towards the gates and onward to the coach were a free for all scrum began and bums were exposed.  Travelling down towards The Park we stopped and Moog leather thong being removed ran the length of the fairway bits a dangling (he was enjoying it) and then back on the coach.  A few minutes later into Tony's for a few more drinks, sing song and more exposures.  Time was getting on so we headed for the Swan where Gerry and Joe had food ready which was by that time very much needed and the night came to a close with some more singing with the entertainer, then I can't remember what happened?????

Well from all of the lads that went on the day, a big thank you to Moog, Joe and Gerry for a good day out. Cheers


Jun 08 Pig on Heat

Spotted on the Swan Golf Tour 08 (front row between Joe and Dangerous) is our very own Pig.
Obviously in a state of arousal - what could be the cause?
Any witty captions? - contact us

May 08 Mark Pocock

Mark, the Hanham Athletic footballer, who is currently having a "try-out" as a football (soccer) player in the States, managed to log on the Swan web-site recently and left a short message:
"how are we all really missing your Blackthorn"
Not sure about the circumstances, whether it was after an intensive training session, or facing the prospect of yet another bottle of Bud!

Either way, if you can get to a computer again Mark, let us know how things are going

UPDATE via the swan web-site
"Hi   
Please find attached a pic of Mark P.
Mark is doing great – working hard and playing hard. He loves the American way of life. He is missing the Blackthorn though Cheers"
Paul Robinson
DFW Tornados Soccer Club
"football is going very well thanks good bunch of lads. miss the blackthorn cus the beer out here is so poor miss you all hope everyone is fine love you all"
Mark

May 08 The Swan (Dangerous) Tour 2008

Many thanks to Knowlesy and Dangerous for organising the tour this year.
Good weather, good courses, good coach driver, good hotel, loads of food and the occasional half of beer!
Congratulations to the man himself (Dangerous) for winning the coveted Red Fleece (no, Tiger - you still can't come on our tour). Also to Coops for winning the overall weekend singles, and Rowey and Dangerous for winning the weekend pairs.
For pics see Golf

May 08 Matty update

Just had an email from Emma - Matt's wife.

"Matt's wife here, just to let you know that he is doing ok, considering how hot it is! He hasn't forgotten about the game of golf, though I think he thought it might have been forgotten about, though from the what I've just read it's still very much on!!
He got promoted whilst in Afghan so will be back early, mid/late July, so you might get that game in in August.
All the best
em"
Note: The Swan golf day is scheduled for Sunday August 24th at the Park

Apr 08 Baby Ben on watch!

First picture received of baby Benjamin Knowles on an outing to the Swan recently.
Obviously not content with the usual baby fluids, he is pictured with one eye firmly fixed on something a little more interesting - namely a pint of the amber nectar. There must be a hereditary link there  somewhere.
Or perhaps his first job in life is on guard duty protecting his Dad's pint - a noble and a potential job-for-life!

Either way, welcome to the Swan, Ben

Apr 08 Guesty on hols!
Our very own regular Steve Guest is captured on holiday in the Dominican Republic earlier this year.
It is often said that everyone should have a hobby to get away from the stresses of modern day living. Some people like gardening, some people like painting, some like collecting stamps.
Obviously Guesty's hobby is one of the lesser known ones - in fact you try to start make up a logical reason for the picture content and then give up.
Anything to do with Royalty needing directions and the "Fox Hat"?
Or a locally-based Harris Cider Brewery promotion overseas?

Apr 08 The only gay in the village
Back to a familiar theme with Stoney (James) tucking into his costume for his stag night in Blackpool. The outfit is based upon the BBC character - committed 'homosexualist' Daffyd (right).  For those who haven't watched "Little Britain", proud to be gay, Daffyd flaunts his sexuality in a variety of rubber outfits, to the villagers' complete indifference. He refuses to accept he's not the only 'gayer' in the village, and is outraged when fellow gays trespass on his patch. Spooky lookalike Stoner! What's that on the table - or shouldn't we go there?
A few dodgy Swan characters in the background and the mirror reflection as well!

Mar 08  

Congratulations
to Jamie and Nicola on the arrival of Baby Benjamin. Born in the RUH at Bath yesterday (26/3/08) and weighing at in at a very healthy 7lb 7oz. Nicola and baby Ben are both fine. Proud father Knowlesy had a minor celebration in the Swan on the evening as a precursor to the main "wetting the baby's head" event, yet to be scheduled.

Mar 08 Crib Team Youth Policy

Concerned about their aging squad of players, the Tuesday crib team recruited Gerry on the YTS scheme for an important doubles match fixture. Partnering the captain, Clive Burrett, the pair gained an honourable 3-3 draw, which meant that overall the team won by the odd point. For some unknown reason the game lasted much longer than the other pairings, which may be down to Gerry's meticulous card play. Clive expressed concern in the early part of the match with Gerry's calculation of his points. In the same way as he works behind the bar, it went something like: 15-2, 15-4, 15-6, 15-8, three for the run is 11 - OK give me 10!
Update 1- In keeping with the crib team squad rotation policy, Gerry was dropped from the side this week Update 2- still "rested"

Mar 08 Dave wins Pontoon

Pictured on the right with Joe, Dave Purnell picks up £198 by getting the magic 11 goals with Oldham on the Swan pontoon. This went some way to easing the pain of having just watched the Gas crash out of the FA cup to West Brom (3rd goal off-side?).
Nick Seward won the lowest score prize of £67 with Luton Town (0 goals).
Joe is on the case for a new set of team selection envelopes.

Mar 08 Borat!!

Following the theme of Swan regulars dressing up in unusual clothes , we have our very own Mark Bryant - aka Dangerous! - at his stag weekend in Amsterdam last February. He wore this for the whole of the weekend despite freezing temperatures. It caused much amusement among the locals with numerous requests for photos. The delay in publishing this photo was due to having to obtain the necessary permissions from government and media bodies. Also we wanted to make sure Dangerous was happy inflicting this sight of his manly flesh upon the rest of the world!

Haven't got a clue about the piccy on the left - apparently him again from another stag do.

Fancy meeting that on a dark night!

Feb 08 Double top for Andy Rowe

Andy Rowe celebrated his 40th birthday at the weekend with friends and relatives at The Swan.
Pictured here on the right with a birthday banner in the background and a specially made birthday cake for the occasion. Looks like an earlier version of Rowey on top of the cake - check out the enlarged version of the cake on the left!

Feb 08
Good luck Matt!
Matt Norman is away on a tour of duty with The Army to Afghanistan - right at the sharp end in Helmand Province so we all wish him well. He is pictured (left and right) in the Swan at his farewell do on Friday Feb 15 with his local/school/rugby friends. On the right he is being cuddled by our very own father to be - Knowlesy. When Matt returns, he has the dubious honour of playing  golf with Mars, Shorty and The Mayor. Anyone got any suitable clubs for Mars and Matty? They are both long units and we think one of them is left handed. A good golf tutor is also wanted.

If you can get onto a computer Matt  - please contact us and give us an update

Feb 08
Visiting football Celeb.
Ex-Bristol Rovers and Portland Timbers star Graham Day paid the Swan a visit on his Sunday night out with the regulars from his pub The Flower Pot.
As can be seen from a picture from his playing days, time has been good to Graham and he has hardly changed over the years!
Pictured with Gerry, who also played centre half, many a centre forward will have bruises to remember them by, since it was allowed to tackle from behind in their playing days, as long as the ball somehow moved in the process. By coincidence, Graham played for Bristol Rovers when they beat Southampton 2-0 in the FA Cup 30 years ago - marking Mick Channon out of the game! Well done the Gas again - Dave Purnell was like a Cheshire Cat on Saturday night!!
It being Graham's round, the next port of call was the Railway Club at the bottom of Temple Meads incline - apparently, the cheapest beer in Bristol.

Jan 08
Stoney gets the Spotters Badge
Chris Stone gets the above award for his eagled-eyed study of the fancy-dress party pics below.
He also gives an update to the caption competition back in December, and a new angle on a story that seems destined to run. It could make the front page of the Observer!

"On close viewing of recent pictures. The cross-dressing Care Home owner appears in pics sent in by Trevor Hudson. If you look carefully you can spot his black latex rubber glove on the left of the picture carefully caressing balloons".

For those without 20/20 eyesight, click on the above image to enlarge.
Again, the individual's identity is being withheld.

Cheers Chris

Jan 08
News from across the pond
Our man in the USA - Paul Robinson, coach of DFW Tornados Soccer Club - sent this email through last week:

"I recently travelled to Baltimore for a coaches convention and AC Milan were there and they had this beauty. 
It's the only time a Millwall boy will have his hands on that."

Nice one Paul - thanks for the pic

Jan 08 Anyone recognise these faces?
Some pictures from way back before the Swan was altered. Then, the current large lounge was divided into three smaller rooms - a bar, a central lounge and a children's room. These pictures were taken in the old lounge. Trevor Hudson (who supplied the pics), says it was a fancy dress competition (surprise, surprise) and he came second. Pete and Rose Joy can be spotted but does anyone know the other characters? I bet some clown won it!! Anyone know the date, occasion etc.?
 

Jan 08 Paul's Dallas Bound
Paul and Shelley Robinson (son-in-law and daughter of Trevor Hudson) has returned to Dallas after spending much of Xmas and the New Year in Bristol. Paul and Shelley have been football (soccer in the USA!) coaching for over ten years and are currently coaching DFW Tornados Soccer Club in Dallas.

Paul left a link to the Swan Website on the Texas Fishing Forum to say where he would spend part(!?) of his holidays and some of his fishing friends logged on the the site. If proof were needed we took a couple of piccies of Paul - one behind the bar with Mandy and Joe and one in front with the usual suspects!

Jan 08 Henry (H) wins the pontoon
West Brom came up with the magic 11 goals to win the latest football pontoon competition.
There were five consolation prizes of £10 for the lowest scoring teams (2 goals) for: Steve & Pam, Si Dew, Mike Povey, Roy, & Dave P

Henry wins a very respectable £145.

Joe is starting a new competition - envelopes available behind bar
 

Dec 07

The Swan v Hanham Athletic FC
Played at Cumberwell Golf Course the match ended in an honourable draw 4-4.
It was a measure of the enthusiasm for the day that some golfers arrived at The Swan 7.45 for a pre-match briefing - thanks to Joe for opening up!
Nearest the pin winners were Andy Rowe and Nick Seward, and the highest scoring pair were Mark Bryant and Nick Seward (45 points).
The journey back was broken up by visiting Tony Watts at The Midland Spinner, and back at The Swan there was an impromptu Karaoke session which lasted well into the night. With the weather being kind, all in all a good day.
Thanks to Kev Coster for booking the course and sorting out the trophies and prizes.
The trophy will be displayed somewhere in The Swan in the near future. There is a technical difficulty in that there are two holes in the back for fixing purposes instead of the normal one. Any specialist advice would be most welcome.
Chris Stone took a few pics of the day on his mobile see golf

Any pics or comments about the day please email news@theswanhanham.co.uk


Dec 07 Knowlesy wins the pontoon

The Knowlesy Xmas fund received a very welcome boost (£168) when his team Stockport County smashed Wycombe 6-0 to give him eleven points on the pontoon. Favourite was Uncle Maurice, but his team overshot the magic 11 total by one. Barry Preece won a very handy last prize (£56).
Knowlesy's delight and good fortune is equally shared by Fosters Brewery!

 

Nov 07 Gerry is getting ready for his holidays!

Off on a cruise to get ready for the Xmas rush.
"Gerry" prices are on hold until he returns.

The glasses actually have flashing lights around the rims but we didn't have a video camera!


 


Nov 07 The Mayor lets it all hang out on hols!

Caught on camera, The Mayor (or more likely Rhydian from the X-Factor
) relaxes on Weston-Super-Mare beach during an un-seasonal bout of warm weather this month. Flat Holm can be seen in the background
 

 
 

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